This is going to be a multi-part series on what’s become a serious problem in American culture: the emphasis we place on youth sports.
The first part of this came to me when I saw this piece from my old editor, Dave Fawcett. Years ago, I created an internship out of nothing at the Potomac News, thanks to him being receptive to taking me on as a freelancer. It worked out well for both of us, as it got me started in daily journalism and got him someone who could cover Prince William County teams when they played in Fauquier and Culpeper Counties, which they did in my four years of college.
Anyway, Fawcett’s piece focused on Freedom High School of Woodbridge, Va. The qualifier is absolutely necessary because there are two Freedom High Schools in Virginia, located about 33 miles apart. Even more ridiculous, they both opened in the same year, both picked the same colors (black and gold) and picked the same mascot (Eagles). If they ever play each other, good luck to whomever writes that story.
Freedom-Woodbridge started out as a pushover in football, but developed into a powerhouse when it hired Darryl Overton as its coach. Overton brought in some of the best players in the area through specific rules allowing them to transfer to Freedom if they enrolled in a specific program. And the Eagles began to win big, going 88-20 in Overton’s nine seasons.
In 2022, Overton and the Eagles embarrassed the state of Virginia. That year, Freedom averaged 63.47 points per game. They outscored their foes 952-148, including a 112-16 win over Colgan. The closest anyone came to beating them all year was a 36-13 win over Stone Bridge, which was the runner-up in the Virginia Class 5 state tournament. Freedom won the Class 6 state final 48-14 over James Madison. The next year, Freedom won another state title.
And then Overton left for Hayfield, and the Eagles’ entire roster followed him out the door. The two-time state champions had just eight players left behind for 2024. Overnight, Freedom went from one of the best teams in the state to one of the worst.
Fawcett’s support didn’t help. The Eagles cobbled together enough bodies to play a five-game league schedule the next season. And over the course of five games, Freedom got outscored 335-0. That Colgan team that Freedom beat by 96 points in 2022? Two years later, the final was Colgan 71, Freedom 0.
And Hayfield? Overton’s transfers continued to do what they’d been doing: pulverize their foes. In 10 games against Virginia opponents, the Hawks outscored their opponents 638-20. They seemed poised to roll to the state title, until Fairfax County parents complained and a new investigation revealed that Hayfield knew that it was going to be bringing in illegal players. It was banned from postseason play for two years, and Overton left for St. James Performance Academy.
Winning At All Costs
Who did this help?
Did it really benefit the kids to stack a team and win a state championship that way? Did they learn anything about overcoming adversity to reach a common goal? Hardly. They put in the work and won a state title, and good for them. But they were never tested and never really got a chance to learn any lessons. For them, the journey was the destination.
And it doesn’t have to be this way. In 2023, I wrote about one of the more difficult games I’ve ever written about: Jersey Shore (Pa.) against Mifflinburg. This was not a normal game by any stretch. One of Mifflinburg’s assistant coaches had lost his nine-year-old daughter to a brain injury caused by a falling tree, and Jersey Shore had seen one of its players, Max Engle, die from a brain injury suffered on the field.
Mifflinburg coach Jason Dressler understood the situation and that this was a perfect opportunity to teach his kids that there were more important things in life than high school football.
“One thing I’ve always talked to the kids about is that as you grow older, you’re going to remember some plays and moments you’re proud of, but more importantly, what you’re going to remember are the relationships you’ve built,” Dressler said to me. “You’re going to remember the relationships you’ve had with teammates, fun situations with the guys, something funny someone’s done.
“Through this, our communities have demonstrated a lot of support and how you go back to those relationships and rely on one another, especially at times like this. It’s more about that than it is about the football. It’s more about helping each other through things and helping those around us who need help. Everything in life isn’t easy, and that’s where we go back to these relationships and being there to support one another.”
Unfortunately, too many young athletes these days don’t have a Jason Dressler in their corner to tell them that their sport isn’t the end-all, be-all of their life. For them, too often, the result is all that matters, whether that’s on the scoreboard or in getting a scholarship to play at the next level.
When that happens, the kids are the ones who lose.
What Should Youth Sports Be?
To answer this question, we need to first answer what they shouldn’t be. Youth sports should not be the pinnacle of a person’s life. They should not be an obsession that parents spend too much time and money pursuing. They should not be a way for parents to live through their child, or their child’s only path to an education.
They should be a way to have fun, learn things and make friends. If a child is genuinely talented enough to play at a higher level, that’s wonderful. But that should be a bonus, not a goal. The goal should be to become a better person and make some incredible memories.
The good coaches get this. The best coaches understand how to have fun and win at the same time. Understand this: I’m not saying that winning doesn’t matter and that we should give everyone a trophy. What I am saying is that winning at all costs should not be the goal, and it’s OK to lose and learn something from it. Often, losing in the athletic arena helps teach you a few things that you can use for success next time.
Plus, the consequences for losing a game really aren’t all that extensive at the youth level. If you lose a game, that’s a lot better than breaking a bone or crashing a car or getting a bad grade in school or getting fired from a job. You’ve had a small setback, and you can learn so that you don’t make the same mistake in other areas.
Unfortunately, too many kids have too much pressure on them to allow themselves a chance to learn. And that ruins the point of youth sports.